just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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