If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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