This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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