Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
