chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
