awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
