I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
