the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
