You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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