Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
