wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Boobs are out for the taking
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
