I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
