Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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