you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
