i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
