All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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