Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
