Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Randomize
