update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm at about main and main street
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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