I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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