When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
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