the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
