She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
