just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize