dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
