if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
