You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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