he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
