All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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