I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
