and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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