So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
is it fun? or sober?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
