No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
