You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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