Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
