did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
