I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
