so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i can't believe i had my finger in that
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
