How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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