Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This baby is an asshole
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
