Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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