You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
