Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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