he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
