i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
