I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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