I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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