i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
