you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
