My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
