I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
