But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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