You're so nebulous sometimes
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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