Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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