yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
