he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
