I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize